Some time ago a dear friend lost her son by his taking his life. It was a devastating blow to the family. It is huge loss in life and a mystery to understand. I asked my friend to share her story of how she dealt with it. She has not been able to put together the story but she did ask a friend who had a similar loss to share her story. It is as follows:

Hi Helen,
I've been thinking about your last message trying to get some thoughts
together. I don't know if I could write about how to get over a suicide.
It seems to me that folks handle grief in so many different ways. Each
person attaches his or her life experience and coping mechanisms to it. The
trick maybe is to find the most positive of those coping skills and use
them.

For me there was the usual, I guess, sense of shock, bewilderment, anger,
disbelief, and terrible pain. The anger didn't last for long maybe because
of Ron's age, I had him for almost 49 years. I try to dwell on the happy
times and also I know Ron's history. He didn't drink or use drugs so that
wasn't the problem but there were other issues in his life. Anyway I found
I could forgive him and I know I must move on with my life. I really don't
know how I would console another person in the same situation except to do as you did and give support and assure them that I understood their pain.
For me those first weeks I just let myself cry and feel sorry for myself and
for Ron. I just let it be and gradually that subsided and I am still left
at times with a deep sadness that I don't think will ever leave but I accept
that. I hope all this makes sense. I'm writing late. I've just babysat with the
great-granddaughter and am tired. I'm getting on in years although I hate
to admit it.
I'm off to bed.