Healing From Homosexuality
In a recent conversation with a friend she said that her son, Samuel, had just told her that he was homosexual. He said that he would never choose to be as he was. He asked: "Why would anyone choose rejection by friends, being looked at as strange or sinful, being misunderstood and suspected by both genders, give up hope of having a spouse, children, and a happy family life?"
Many homosexuals like Sam wish they could change, but believe they have no choice in the matter. Why have they come to this conclusion?
There are some psychological and psychiatric groups that have voted and promoted statements that the homosexual lifestyle should be accepted as "normal." For most of this century homosexuality was regarded as a pathological condition, which needed therapy. In 1972 and 1973 the homosexual leadership co-opted the leadership of the American Psychiatric Association and promoted the idea that same-sex sex was not a disorder, but merely a condition as neutral as left-handedness. Their agenda was to brainwash America into accepting same-sex sex as being as normal as heterosexuality. To date, they have been very successful in doing this.
Others suggest that homosexuality may have a genetic link, and that, if so, a genetic cure may be possible. But many homosexuals would not accept that. They want acceptance for their lifestyle, not a cure.
On the other
writing in America (Nov. 18,1995) Dr. Charles W. Socarides ,
professor of psychiatry at Albert Einstein College of Medicine in New
"Gay is not good. Gay is not decidedly free. How do I know this? For more than 40 years, I have been in"...therapy sessions with hundreds of homosexuals...."But I do not help them by telling them they are O.K. when they are not O.K."
He declared that one third of his homosexual patients (hundreds and thousands) changed their ways and were happily married with children. Another one third had not fully given up the practice of same-sex sex but had more control over their impulses because they now understood the roots of their need for same-sex sex. Some of them are beginning to turn to the opposite sex. It should be noted that there is no indication of religious implication in Dr. Socarides' article.
Dr. Socarides' statements and the testimony of many ex-homosexuals from groups like EXODUS, indicate that inspite of Sam's dismal conclusion, the homosexual does have a choice. It is strange that Christians seem to be the only ones claiming that homosexuality can be healed. They reject homosexuality as a lifestyle because God has rejected it. But the Gospel is a message for all people, regardless of lifestyles, to repent and be transformed from our old ways of life to the new life in Christ.
The Christian view of the homosexual lifestyle is that change is possible. The church at Corinth in the first century had all kinds of people with all kinds of problems. The Bible says: "Do not fool yourselves; people who are immoral or who worship idols or are adulterers, or homosexual perverts or who steal or who are greedy or are drunkards or who slander others or are thieves--none of these will possess God's kingdom. Some of you were like that. But you have been purified from sin; you have been dedicated to God; you have been put right with God by the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God." (1 Cor. 6:9-11 TEV)
The good news is that God is in the business of transformation. The message is that anyone can be "born again" (John 3:3). God is in the business of making new persons in Christ. "...for you have put off the old self with its habits and have put on the new self. This is the new being which God, its Creator, is constantly renewing in his own image, in order to bring you to a full knowledge of himself." (Col. 3:9-10) In another place in the Bible it says, "Do not conform yourselves to the standards of this world, but let God transform you inwardly by a complete change of your mind. Then you will be able to know the will of God--what is good and is pleasing to him and is perfect."
If you find yourself in Sam's misery, reconsider. There is a change possible by means of therapy, and full commitment of one's life to Jesus Christ as Lord.
Investigate the following resources:
International There are a number of sources that one
peruse at Exodus International.
A number of testimonies of former homosexuals, articles,
Featuring a number of keys or steps on the way out of
Responding to Pro-Gay Theology By Joe Dallas, an ex-homosexual.
Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays
Jonah (Jews Offering New Alternatives to Homosexuality
Youth May Have
Pure Intimacy and Recovering the Heart of Sexuality
and Friends of Gays and Ex-Gays
Bennett Ministry to
National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality, an oranization of nearly 700 professionals who treat homosexuality, Contact NARTH by writing to 16633 Ventura Blvd., Suite 1340, Encino, CA 91436. Phone: 818-789-4440. Or click on the following.
Books to Read:
John and Anne Paulk, Love Won Out
Jeffery Satinover, Homosexuality and the Politics of Truth
For Information on how to become a Christian, check out How To Get To Heaven From Wherever You are....
Ex-'gay': 'I finally just walked away from that life'
After 25 years of fruitlessly searching for fulfillment in a homosexual lifestyle, George Carneal turned to faith in Jesus Christ, found the peace that eluded him and left his former life behind him
Carneal tells his story in “From Queer to Christ: My Journey Into the Light.”
“Today, I’ve been on the road to celibacy for nine years and it actually has been great. It’s one of the best decisions I’ve made for myself,” said Carneal. “I just want to be committed to God now. I’m not looking for relationships of any kind. I just want God to use me how he sees fit.”
Carneal’s struggle with same-sex attraction began at a young age but he didn’t act on it until after he graduated from high school.
“It was something I struggled with all through junior high and high school. After graduating and meeting a guy in a nearby town and just meeting up and having dinner and what have you. It just felt right for me and thought that’s what I was, that I was gay,” said Carneal.
For most of his life Carneal thought he was born gay. In the light of Scripture, he now knows that isn’t true.
“Looking back now in terms of what God had done in my life, I really feel like once he gives you the healing and the wholeness from the brokenness that I had, I can see that no, I was not born with it,” said Carneal.
Carneal’s dad was a Southern Baptist preacher. As he struggled with same-sex attractions in his youth, he believed no one tried to talk with him but preferred to judge him instead. As a result, when he entered into the homosexual community he thought he found the acceptance he craved.
While that turned out to be a false hope, Carneal does offer advice to Bible-believing Christians who have family members or friends dealing with homosexuality or any compulsive sin.
“You can still tell them the truth in love, whether it’s drugs, alcohol, homosexuality or porn. But be a friend and pray for them. Only the power of the Holy Spirit can transform someone’s life,” said Carneal.
“For me, it didn’t really matter what Christians said. It was really going to take the hand of God to really work in my life, to help me see the areas of brokenness that needed to be dealt with. He had to give me the right kind of healing that I needed in order to have the strength for me to walk away from that life,” said Carneal.
Throughout his years as an active homosexual, Carneal says he longed for a steady, monogamous relationship. But he says that was almost non-existent in his experience.
“That to me is an exception rather than the norm. I just found in my experiences that it’s a very promiscuous life,” said Carneal.
As he got older, Carneal noticed he was getting less attention as many in the homosexual community strongly prefer younger partners. It was then that he realized he wanted something different in his life. But given the animosity he still held for the Christian church, he turned instead to New Age groups and eastern mysticism.
Those also left him empty. It was a small group Bible study that set him on a course that would change his life.
“For two years, I went to a Bible study on a Friday night, where I just went, and I listened and I learned about the book of Genesis. It really gave me a much more indepth understanding of God’s word. It was there that my hunger really built and I desired to know more about God’s word.
“But it allowed me to slowly get my feet wet back in the church, sitting around Christians, and God was graciously putting Christians in my life who weren’t meanspirited. They were very loving,” said Carneal
But there was still a question that tortured Carneal: could he really be a Christian and a practicing homosexual?
“What really kept me in turmoil is I would listen to the conservative Christian side and the liberal Christian side and both spoke with such authority. So many times I would sit in my car and beat on the steering wheel and cry, and sob, and beg God for answers,” said Carneal.
“It was really taking a toll on my mental and emotional state. I finally just walked away from that life. I walked out of the bars. I stopped hanging around a lot of my gay friends. I stopped hanging around liberal Christians. I just started immersing myself in God’s word. That’s really where I started to get answers and peace about where God really stands on this issue,” said Carneal.
Carneal then embraced celibacy and says he has been at peace ever since.
“I didn’t know that celibacy was an option. When I found out there were a lot of LGBT individuals who were walking away from that life and were giving their lives to Christ and choosing the path of celibacy because they wanted to please God, that really gave me hope,” said Carneal.
WND, March 12, 2007